I was shocked today to learn about Neuticles. I think I was shocked mostly that they existed and I didn’t know about them already.
Neuticles are doggie testicle implants. You know, so your dog doesn’t feel emasculated. Riiiight.
I do see the point of their existence if it means someone who wouldn’t otherwise neuter his pet (you can get them for other animals too, like cats and bulls) now has the neuter performed since he has the option to keep his pet looking intact. What I don’t understand is why anyone would care! Frankly, when I see the rare intact male dog at the park, I secretly want to slap the owner and take the dog to the low-cost clinic myself.
Perhaps it’s a cultural (not necessarily ethnic) thing and I need to be more understanding. But I’m part of an animal welfare culture, and modifying a dog to represent what, to me, demonstrates irresponsible pet ownership just doesn’t make a lot of sense in my world.
I found this testimonial on the site:
I had my standard Dachshund, Bruno, neutered six months ago using Neuticles. I am very glad that I did so. Bruno has the same look as before and I am extremely pleased with the results… Some of my friends have commended me for being a caring owner who knew the importance of maintaining Bruno’s natural look. I gladly advertise to everyone.
I guess I can almost see a big guy with a rottie buying doggie implants, but a dachshund? Meanwhile, I wonder how many Neuticles users believe in a “natural look” including cropping and docking.
And then the site quotes the media, first up being:
“The ASPCA implores pet owners to neuter–but what about the emasculated pet? Now there’s Neuticles!”
The Daily Show
Sorry, I don’t think I’d call the Daily Show’s endorsement an, uh, endorsement.