Which footwear ensemble is more hideous?! We have a very important argument going.
Also, my four day weekend included annual pumpkin carving with Nicole (and now Ainsley!). They provided me the roofing nail teeth.
Thanks, Matt, for posting this Weird Al shopping grammar clip!!
Bonus: does anyone know why this web-shooting Spiderman is on this building on East New York Street?
Coming in as my second favorite typo so far, I give you: The I-70 ramp to RURAL Street. Ironically named since this street is in a gritty urban area, now I have a reason to pull off the road to take a picture and risk carjacking.
(Favorite typo: Village Panty)
Meanwhile David’s prototype coffee table bit the dust when he sat on it. All the items on the floor used to be on the table. Watching him land was hilarious. I should note that it was a prototype for size and shape, not construction quality.
A few of the smart asses from IASMH class of 1993 at their 16th reunion (because we were too lame to plan a 15th)
And I’ve been bonding Harrison and Vegas (seen here in before-and-after haircut pics)
Who wants to do the Tour de Cookie?? I need to get my bike replaced! COOKIES!
Some recent items:
Congrats to my little brother (though he’s noted as a Clydesdale, and darn it if I’m not basically Athena weight!), Matt, on completing his first triathlon last weekend. It was in downtown Indy and so far there are no reports of anyone dying after swimming the canal.
Matt’s first triathlon 08.16.09 from Amy D on Vimeo.
Friends recently invited us to Symphony on the Prairie, where we heard Queen music in an outdoor picnic setting. Drunkenness ensued. Also the guy who sounded like Freddie Mercury threw in “I’m gonna sit by you, another one rides the bus!”
Had a bunny date at my house. Rabbits who happened to be named Bill and Hillary met, and Bill humped Hillary repeatedly. She looked annoyed and went home with Waldo instead.
I grew huge ass zucchini!
And my pepper is finally turning red!
Also note we now have cabinet doors, drawer fronts, and a wine rack! David’s work slowed to a backwards crawl but at least he had time to work on his own place.
I looked away or took a phone call or something while working, and Walter apparently brought me Thing 1 for a game of fetch.
Rode my bike to the state fair this weekend. I’ve never gone and wanted to get it out of my system. The prospect of fried food overrode the sadness at some of the animals (I managed to walk into the swine building while they were being auctioned). Of course the first building I wandered into had the rabbit judging going on. Poor buns.
There were a number of bizarre sights at the fair, including middle-aged white women belly dancing in a group (I got stuck watching this because it began pouring rain and this tree kept me dry):
An awesome mullet with balding and feathering at the same time:
Suckers with their feet in nasty brown muddy water getting ‘toxins’ removed (what a freakin’ racket):
Miss America seasoning (I almost bought it but it wasn’t worth eight bucks for a joke):
And a lady playing show tunes on an organ in the middle of Pepsi Coliseum while competing horse teams trotted around her:
It was all worth it for the funnel cake, mint ice cream, and onion rings.
Even though a draft horse farted on me.
Vegetarian anniversary!
In 1096.5 days, you have saved:
0.4125 cows
90.568 chickens
1.0063 pigs
3.0189 turkeys
0.2415 ducks
171.07 fishTotal: 266.32 animals
This comes from a veg*n calculator, and is discussed a bit here.
EDIT: Wait! I forgot about this song
Casper and I walked down to the park for a free concert last night. She wasn’t so sure about the clapping or the kids who petted her, but she did well. As usual, the walk home was her favorite part. Casper is not a social butterfly–unless you count the dogs she sees on the way. She was reluctant to keep going on our way there until she saw another dog and followed him!
Check out a total WIN for vegetarian comfort food. I took my mom’s porcupine meatballs recipe (which appears to be xeroxed from Betty Crocker), subbed in Gimme Lean ground beef substitute, and came up with ‘meatballs’ even David thought were great. He even said these were preferred over the real ones–obviously duplicating a steak is difficult, but for meatballs that get all the flavor from seasonings and sauce, the fake stuff wins and you don’t have any of the fat/cholesterol of ground beef.
A couple of pics of my recent dining adventures. Well, I guess it’s not that adventurous once you’ve had the dishes multiple times.
Peruvian food: vibrantly colored pesto pasta and potatoes from Machu Picchu restaurant
I took this picture because the falafel looks like little turds.
The neighbor’s dog, again hanging out on OUR front porch.
And this is just weird. I think I saw this truck at the Woodruff Place sale. They sell lemonade or lemon shake-ups or something. Whoever drew this ought to be fired.
Holy moly I have a lot of work to do this week. How come everyone else went on vacation?
Nicole and I will have to do more study halls. It’s easier to focus on working from home when someone else suffers with ya.
Several years ago we discovered a reasonable way to manage work and stay caught up was to be ‘in the window.’ Our email has to fit on one screen in our mail program. The last time I was in the window was about three and a half years ago. I’m also at 172% of my allotted email space in the system. Go me!
Someone egged our house this weekend. It was about 90 degrees so it pretty much baked right to the porch. Fun neighborhood! I can’t help but think it has something to do with the punk kid next door. Usually his Rott jumps the fence and tears up our trash but unless the dog grew thumbs, someone else has it out for us. I was mad the other day that they let the dog (I assume it was theirs–high probability given the number of times I’ve seen him standing in our yard) leave a steaming pile in our front yard and they sat on the porch and did nothing about it. So I mowed over it and they had to smell it. Eggs may be payback?
Just got a ‘good job’ email from my manager to my boss. At least someone notices I’m trying to get a few things done. And today was nacho bar!
I struggle constantly with The List running through my head: all the crap I should do. I keep written lists sometimes and then got excited when Google came up with a notes-tracking application, except my stupid work computer has an old browser which I cannot upgrade and therefore I can’t use that application except at home (nor see much flash, nor load a lot of pages, nor get the computer going in less than six minutes–but that’s more a RAM problem I think).
So I signed up for Evernote, but so far haven’t really done much with it. I would rather have a quick link from my Gmail. Is there some other application that would be better? Actually I think once I (probably) get that iPhone I’ll solve my always-available-paperless-to-do-list problem quickly, perhaps then with Evernote.
Anyway my ambitious self thinks I should do all this crap. And in the late afternoon when I want to leave work but have more work to do, I keep thinking how much stuff I’ll do when I get home. By the time I get home I’m just tired and cranky and downright lazy. I need to figure out what legal drug could get me zippy and productive in the evening but still allow me to sleep! Or something. I will say melatonin before bed has been helpful to regulate my sleep more. I get sleepy faster and it’s a whole lot easier to get out of bed in the morning–maybe that’s the miracle that will ultimately get more things off my List!
A sampling so I can feel accountable:
bond Arliss and
Waldosomebody (Waldo was adopted!)
finish reorganizing and cleaning bunny room
clean pig cage
scrape brickDavid did it!
change Jetta headlight AGAIN
clean car
get grids, get and plant hostas from Dawn
paint front porch trim
repot mint plants
mulching
medicate Vegas(re-vet Vegas’ sneeze?and Harrison’s limp?pigs need vetting too)
more dog walking, cycling, and running
haircut
meal planning
more cooking/less eating out
pick up rain barrel at KIB
call cable company to yell about the latest price hike
iPhone purchase
TV shopping
path forward: Tivo vs DVR/other source
refill Casper’s meds
update Casper’s microchip
rehab front porch mess
canoeing
iTunes from old computer
finish video edit
desk cleanoff
laundry room reorg
de-fridge the basement
continue decluttering at home
ditch financial adviser/meet w/new one
mail passport renewal
respond to old email
send Father’s Day gift to Dad
organize recipes (still looking for advice on that)I just went with a binder with tabs for now. My elegant electronic version will have to wait
go through clothes for Goodwill
dust/vacuumhooray for paying a friend to clean!
I noticed a couple of these were still there from the list I made last year…
There’s an equally long list at work, one which stresses me even more.
Earthlink update! Remember how my email stopped working in December and they were able to hang up on me but not fix the problem? This week I got an overdue bill and they threatened collections! LOL. No worries, all resolved now. And I’m happy to report they never actually got a dime from me. I hope I wasted their server space and CSR time. Navigating their phone tree was enough to make me furious all over again.
Those on Facebook may be familiar with recent escapades. Here’s a summary and a few extras!
Poor David Beckham, victim of endorsing a product that can vandalize.
I finally captured this bizarre vehicle while biking. I’ve seen him around but now I know where he lives! I think he collects abandoned carts from the neighborhood.
April 7: Evacuation
April 8: Unclog sewer pipe
April 10: Are four gin & tonics a lot?
April 11: Pissed about working on a Saturday during my vacation
April 12: Beat the pants off my family at Scrabble
April 13: Finished state taxes and had an embarrassing exam
April 15: Ate all the peanut M&Ms in cubicle next to mine
April 17: Rode bike to work and saw red-headed woodpecker, Christmas tree w/tinsel, middle-aged guy in fedora on BMX
April 17: Went out drinkin’ with friends and then bought cigarettes for the first time
April 18: Rode my bike to Race for the Cure
April 20: Busch Light can in my newspaper tube
April 21: Work woke me up at 1 a.m.
April 23: Casper won a photo contest
April 24: Work woke me up at 3 a.m.
April 24: Some asswipe broke into my Jeep
April 25: Rode my bike to Earth Day
April 25: Appraisal woes and bought a refrigerator
April 25: Someone stole my credit card number
April 26: Mutt Strut! Pics to come but this is my favorite:
April 28: Frustrated by canceling services and realizing property taxes are worse than I thought
April 28: Someone shit in our driveway
April 29: Sold my house! Still pissed about taxes
Next few days: Slammed at work and given an ‘opportunity’ (that means more work)
May 2: ToxDrop and electronics recycling
May 3: Insulated the attic
Don’t you want to be my friend now? My favorite FB comments had to do with the shit in the driveway.
hehe
Too busy to write lately, but during an email cleanout I found this and thought I’d share. I just got a promotion so I hope no one said any of these on my evaluation!
Performance Evaluations
In case you run out of ideas for evaluating your colleagues, you can use these. These are quotes from federal government employee performance evaluations.
1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”
2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.”
4. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
5. “When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.”
10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”
11. “A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
12. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
13. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
14. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
15. “He’s been working with glue too much.”
16. “He would argue with a signpost.”
17. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
18. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
19. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
20. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
21. “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
22. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
23. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
24. “He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
25. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
26. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
27. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
28. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
29. “One neuron short of a synapse.”
30. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
31. “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes.”
I joined Facebook a month ago and have unearthed over 100 people I know, most of whom I haven’t seen in forever. I never realized I knew so many people. It’s been fun to catch up with old camp and boarding school friends. A few friend requests, however, have come to my inbox with me wondering who the people are. I generally figure it out but this one stumped me, so I asked my brother. I didn’t recognize her picture but she had a similar first name to a friend I did have in our neighborhood and would like to chat with again. Many last names have changed with marriage so I have to think hard about these folks sometimes. Note: I changed the friend names for this entry.
Email from Facebook:
Sally Martin added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm that you know Sally in order for you to be friends on Facebook.
Sally says, “Hi Amy, I used to live in Bercliff. My parents still do. I used to ride bikes with your little brother Matt, and i went to Adams.”.
Amy emails Matt:
Do you know who this is? I don’t think it’s Ms. Barton…
Matt replies:
Yeah, it’s Sally Crump. They lived on Wildemere and had the dog with the ridiculously “original” name Blackie. She sent me a friend request as well. I didn’t approve it because I don’t like approving people I don’t really know and/or don’t want to know any better.
I have a list of friend requests out the wazoo that I don’t approve because they were people that I went to high school with, but never spoke to, etc.
Besides, Sally Crump and her younger sister used to knock on our door twice a week to ask me to go bike riding, but I thought they were creepy so I always made an excuse. Then one day they started asking to use our bathroom after I turned them down for a bike ride (presumably to get a look inside our house. I mean, seriously, their house was only 2 blocks away.) That made Dad really mad and after about the third bathroom excursion he told me to tell them to… and I quote.. “Go pee at home.”
Anyway, I have no interest in being “friends” (Facebook or otherwise) with people I don’t intend to fraternize with. To me it’s just another version of “peeing in my house” for Sally Crump because I’m probably not going to talk to her on Facebook, but she’ll be able to see everything I write and look at pictures of me and stuff. She can “pee” on her other Facebook friends, but not me! 
Heck, you’re lucky I approved you as a friend on Facebook!
-Matt
We had a crapload of snow last night, which made me happy because we don’t get much down here and I grew up in lake effect country. This storm should satisfy me for awhile because yesterday’s shoveling was erased overnight and then I spent an hour getting to my Jeep in the alley this morning.
I also shoveled some paths for the dogs, who use them partway and then bound off into the virgin areas. Casper was smart enough to pee and poop in the cleared areas (and she’s not normally the smarter of the two), but Walt insisted he had to do his business exactly where he always does and every time he squatted he got snow on his butt and jumped away. He finally trampled enough area to do what he needed to and then he ran a few laps.
The only thing that makes my super-white collie look dirty and not-white is fresh snow!
A lot of people didn’t make it to work today and all the schools are closed. I thought I was in Shaun of the Dead when I drove down Michigan Street and it was full of random people staggering down the middle of the road since they had no other way or place to get around. Then a train blocked the street and instead of getting stuck behind a bunch of trapped city buses who were trying to turn around, I had to go down side streets for a mile until I found an underpass–that was bad news with no plows and a foot of snow. Thank goodness for 4wd. When I found the underpass on an actually plowed Washington Street, a semi had everyone stopped going the other way because he was too tall to fit under the bridge with all the snow under it.
I discovered fleece socks keep me warm at work! I need many more of these.
Update on the hair situation: Nicole kindly stayed with me for moral support last week when I had half of mine cut off. Thanks to layers and thinning shears I can wear it down frequently, though it’s still very floofy on its own with an air dry. This dark pic is after the stylist spent a half hour drying/straightening/flat ironing it.
Bonus pic: Someone got creative in the house numbers aisle at WalMart the other day.
Sorry, WordPress had another growth spurt and I can’t quite figure out the finer points of the image software yet.
