In honor of Stacy

In high school, our friend Stacy created a newsletter about herself called Stuff That Has Happened to Stacy. It was actually quite advanced given the limitations of early-90s graphic design software and her issues that arrived after graduation continued to make me laugh. It was a lot like an entertaining blog, come to think of it. (Goes out searching for Stacy on Google…no, I don’t think she’s a track star…duh, look in the alumni database. Will get to that later.) Anyway, for lack of a better subject here (Camera Phone Post 3?) and yes, I know it’s not as entertaining, Stuff That Has Happened to Amy:

No Dogs in the Bed! Well, Walt gets up there when I get up for work, but I have strict demands that the blankets are up so I don’t have dog hair in my sheets. And even Casper put her paws on the bed last week to see when I’d get up. That’s really bizarre for her!
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People with Big Noggins.
Hey, I don’t care how big your head is. Just don’t perch a regular-sized hat on top, even if it is your favorite team!
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Don’t Offer Me a Salad. (That might become my header mantra at some point.) For all of you who wonder what the heck I eat, I give you a typical lunch at least a couple of times per week at one of the cafeterias at work. This is today’s fresh saute of mushrooms, spinach, red/yellow/green bell peppers, bok choy, diced tomatoes, onions, carrot shreds, and broccoli in a rose sauce on penne pasta (and of course with garlic!). Then I threw a few chow mein noodles on top. The cafeteria advertised this as a sausage jambalaya, but hold the sausage and I’m thrilled, I’m full, I have eaten lots of pretty-colored veggies that are very good for me, and I saved a buck over everyone who had it with meat! The sauces are different every day and I can usually eat for less than $4. Note my bottle of Crystal Light, cuz I believe in me.
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At Least the Editor Tried. At Kohl’s yesterday (David claims he hates all their stuff but he asked to go there. He asked me to read what was on his exterior jeans label, pulled two pair off the shelf that matched his label, and bought them. I hate him), I found this note taped to a rolling cart. What I find hilarious is that someone (NOT ME) tried to fix the grammar mistakes, but still missed some. It’s not just me, I swear! I resisted the urge to correct the rest (mostly because I lacked a pen), but I did turn a polo collar back down on a child mannequin because I think that collar-up-layered-polo nonsense is just STUPID.
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>Are you finished? >Just Wait ‘Til I Get Going! Where Was I?
(name the movie)

Cult, anyone? Yesterday after dining at Three Sisters, we stopped at Good Earth next door because I knew they carried Birkenstocks and I’m on a mission for comfortable shoes. This place is a natural foods store, crammed with all the goofy stuff I can’t find at Meijer, and upstairs (among the bulk herbs and books on cleansing your bowels) is a selection of Birks, Earth Shoes, etc. And there is a middle-aged guy who sells them to you in a rather goofy way. At one point some people in the essential oil room burst into rousing song, after random people offered their opinions on my feet. Everyone seemed to know each other a little too well, and later we relayed our odd shoe store experience in a generic way to a friend who said Oh, Good Earth? That guy is weird. Anyway, I tried on lots of shoes, and decided I really like Earth Shoes but not exactly the ones they had there (I bought some online instead), while David was reading about how to mend himself in the forest with the plants around him. The goofy guy pretty much forced David to take off his Birks to repair the edges, which have been beaten to hell over the years. This caused us to wait even longer and not be able to go to another store which closed in the meantime, but I thought the picture was funny.
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And that was one of several ridiculous parking stops between the cafe and the grocery, where I did buy bulgur and dishwasher rinse that was not tested on animals.

Gassy Ass. I saw this on a car at the Post Office. I suppose it’s like my Mend Your Fuelish Ways bumper sticker, but mine’s way classier. And not a ribbon.
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I won!

Another installment of Amy Downloads Camera Phone Pictures!

Walt removes stuffing from yet another toy. (There was another casualty later that night.)
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I’m king of the world! (He fell asleep on top of the pigloo later.)
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Ah, Valentine’s Day… Hug’s and Kissess for everyone. Love, Kroger
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I made jacket potatoes stuffed with sauteed garlic and baby portobello mushrooms, tofu, and the insides of the potatoes… then happened to heat up a fake chicken breast thing (also made from mycoprotein: a whole fungus meal!), resulting in a strangely symmetrical plate. David had seared ahi tuna, the more normal plate in the background. Note our OSB-topped coffee table.
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Miffi grabbed all the carrots when I was trying to give her only the green tops.
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Last week was one of extremes. Work sucked ass (even at home every night on my laptop, pager, and cell phone), but then had high points as we solved issues and I had good financial news, including finding out that I’m done paying for my teeth (for you newcomers, that’s 26 crowns and a bunch of ancillary work). My birthday was one of the sucky work days, then spent visiting David’s mom as she came home from the hospital without an appendix, then trying a new-to-us Iraqi restaurant that disappointed. After the good financial news (good enough that I still did this after having car repairs and dog grooming expenses that same day), we went to R Bistro for a really nice $$$ dinner. We haven’t been out to a place with a fancy chef in a long time and it was really wonderful. I’ve never had butternut squash, spinach, and goat cheese with Buerre blanc before.

Now completing a tiring weekend by snacking on real parmesan (not going to attempt the long/real spelling) and red wine… mmm.

Oh! And I won one of the bloody contests! Of course the award was a gift card to a steakhouse, so she’s adjusting it a bit. 🙂 Anyway, lots of people gave blood during Melissa and Manic Mommy‘s contests, which is really the point. My entry was a January donation.

I’d say the week ended on an up note!

In which I learn to download from my camera phone

It’s the mother of all bad signs posts!

I bought my cell phone pushing a year ago, and took some pictures with it (I’m surprised at the good quality actually!). I finally bought a microSD card so I could store more pictures and video (and it’s an mp3 player too but I haven’t loaded any songs). But I didn’t download anything… until tonight.

There are dental pics and bunny pics which I will share soon, and even a rare David-with-goatee pic, but today will just be for the bad store signs pics.

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Meijer with a double whammy

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Menards, where my expectations aren’t as high but I’m still amused by the bad signs

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Someone apparently ran into the drive thru speaker at this McD’s, so it was hobbled together with electrical tape and leaning precariously.

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I was amazed at the bad use of plaid.

Target must have hired a real gem to make their signs!
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And my favorite, because WalMart laughs at the dangers taught by practical chemistry. (Note the products shrink wrapped together, and the bleach wipe bottles on top for garnish.) No worries, though, since I emailed hazmat@wal-mart.com to let them know. 🙂 Of course, their MSDS search page references a “Frequently Asked Question’s” page, so I’m not sure we have much hope.
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A dog of a different color

Poor Casper was napping on the floor next to the couch when I spilled my wine everywhere. She had it on her back too.
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I joined the YMCA recently and they have TWO misspellings on their signs. Should I find a different gym?
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I had fourteen teeth installed today. I actually feel pretty good (nine injections, ya know) except that my jaw hurts from the 4.5 hours in the chair, having to hold my mouth open the whole time or clench tightly to seat the crowns and allow the cement to cure. My back doesn’t feel that great either after being in the chair that long. And that’s the most money I’ve spent in one day since I bought my car.

We saw the newish Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tonight. I hope I don’t have Johnny Depp-Willy Wonka teeth now!

While at the dental school, some of the departments had decorated:
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‘Tis the season

I suppose ’tis is short for it is. Then shouldn’t it be ‘t’s or ‘t’is? I can’t stand messed up marks in shortened words. Someone at work kept using 06′ in a report like he was signing a high school yearbook. The worst one is lil, which I’m not even going to try to do the accepted way, because I can’t tell what that is. Shouldn’t it be li’l’? That’s where all the missing letters are. Yet I see l’il and li’l and it makes me want to scream.

Today was a busy day, moving furniture to the new place. Dad drove down to haul it all and we accidentally rented a truck, which made things easier. I got off like a girl and didn’t have to carry the heavy stuff. I wasn’t trying to get off like a girl, but my arm is still messed up with tendonitis and I had a lot of directing and organizing to do to make sure the right things were moved. Then I nebulized congested JuJu the bunny (more of a fuzzbucket than my Vegas!) and put the bed back together enough that we could sleep in it.

I found this holiday meme at Geggie‘s.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
We always made fun of my mom (or rather complained) for using gift bags. But I have to admit, I reuse any that end up at my house. The rest of the gifts get wrapped. I like fun, colorful paper, but not the foil stuff that cuts your fingers.
2. Real tree or Artificial? I used to do a real tree. The best year was when I lived in that house from the 1880s in Seymour with the really tall ceilings. I somehow got a ten-plus foot tree in my Impala, but it was too big to get in the stand by myself so my brother had to help. Now I have an artificial tree and some years I don’t even get around to putting it up.
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3. When do you put up the tree? Whenever I get around to it and the weather is nice enough to drag it from the shed.
4. When do you take the tree down? Eh, no planned date. Second week of January?
5. Do you like eggnog? Not sure I’ve had it in years. It’s ok.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? That’s tough. We always had really nice Christmases (no, I never got a pony nor the skates I always asked for), so there were always fun things. I bet we got the most fun and work out of our Apple IIGS, a gift in 1985?
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Hahaha, no. And especially not the plastic yard light-up kind.
8. Hardest person to buy for? David’s parents.
9. Easiest person to buy for? My brother. His list is pages of DVDs, video games, board games, t-shirts, Simpsons stuff, and then normal things that other adults want.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Never sent one yet and I don’t plan to start now!
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A framed picture of Mrs. Beasley. (At least I knew the reference when someone recently named an ancient foster rabbit after her.)
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? I don’t like holiday movies much, but Christmas Story is good. Bad Santa is more up my alley.
13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I know I’ve Freecycled some!
14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mashed potatoes and homemade chocolate chip cookies (not together) and punch!
15. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored
16. Favorite Christmas song? I hate Christmas music.
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We’re traveling to see both families but not leaving the state. No parties at our house, though!
18. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Of course!
19. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Growing up, we opened one on Christmas Eve morning, a pre-selected toy from Mom, to keep us busy at Gramma’s while she watched us for the day so Mom could get the house ready. Then we opened with Dad’s side of the family that night and Mom’s side the next day. It’s still like that now except for the toy in the morning! And I always loved stockings, with good things like chocolate and stamps and little goofy and practical stuff.
20. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The music in the stores? I get annoyed with the parking on shopping days but I try to plan my shopping during off hours, and I get most things online anyway.
21. Favorite ornament theme or color? I like to get a cute or quirky or meaningful ornament each year, and I have lots of childhood ornaments too.
22. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Right around Thanksgiving, but I’ll pick up one or two things during the year and usually remember to give them rather than lose them!
23. What do you want for Christmas this year? David and I already exchanged the big fun things, so I’m just enjoying shopping for others now. A Roomba would be great!
24. Angel or star on top of tree? I had this horrible janky star that I probably bought at KMart because it was so gaudy (I think it’s in the picture above!). Now I have a nice star. When we were kids, my brother and I took turns each year putting the angel my mom made on the tree.
25. What do/did you leave for Santa? I think we left cookies and milk for Santa on a special placemat my mom made. But I’m not sure I’d do the Santa myth with my kids.