So I saw a meme on someone’s blog which led me to think of this one, but now I can’t find that page/post. So I guess I won’t link to it.
10 Things from Childhood
- My friend had an upstairs bedroom and her parents supplied her with a rope ladder thing in case of fire. I had an upstairs bedroom too and my parents didn’t give me a rope ladder, so I thought they didn’t love me enough to save my life. I had an elaborate contingency plan to tie sheets together to lower my guinea pig down in a basket and then I’d climb down the sheets.
- The only time I ever stole anything: stickers from the friend in #1. I made sure to take a whole sheet and that it was a duplicate sheet so she wouldn’t notice.
- I grew up with a set of twins at my church. I never could tell them apart (and still can’t).
- I picked “Julia” to be my name in Spanish class because I thought it was pretty. Then the teacher pronounced it “Hoo-lee-uh” and I thought it was ugly, but I was stuck with it.
- My grandma often had us over to paint little wooden items. Somehow I got a reddish paint smear on her bathroom doorknob. I think it’s still there and I don’t think I ever told her I did it! Grandma is super neat and tidy and I always imagine her staring at that red smear, thinking it’s the only mar in her whole house. (I’m about to find out if she reads this blog, I think!)
- My mom sewed a school bag for me. One day I didn’t feel like carrying it, so on the way home from the bus stop I tied a jumprope around the handles and dragged it for two blocks to our house. It had a hole in it when I arrived.
- I used to try to breathe backwards before I went to sleep. I thought it made more sense for the chest to suck in on the inhale and release on the exhale.
- In ninth grade, they told us the only way to get our class year for letter jacket sleeves–our “freshman numerals”–was to participate in a sport in our freshman year. The only reason I went out for track (and I always hated gym class and sports in general) was so I wouldn’t miss that opportunity. I never got a letter jacket, but darn it, I have numerals!
- I got a B in gym in ninth or tenth grade. I had plans to be valedictorian and this ruined the whole thing, so reasoning that I had met all the class requirements for an A based on the syllabus (such that it was) and how participation was supposed to be counted, I wrote letters to the gym teacher, principal, etc. to plead for a grade change. I never heard a response, but magically my grade showed up as “pass” for that period on a later report card.
- We thought our elementary school bus driver, Ella, was mean. We wanted to insult her without her knowing it, so I decided to learn how to insult her in Spanish and then share it with my friends. The phrase of choice was supposed to be “Floor it, fatso!” So I looked up floor, it, and fatso in the English/Spanish section of the big dictionary at home. Of course floor it is an English expression that doesn’t translate to the individual words, and fatso wasn’t in there at all. We ended up shouting, “!Suelo ello corcho!,” which is floor, it, and cork. I have no idea how cork became the subbed word.